the world’s a cruel and lonely place

I’m doomed to be alone

I can’t stand it

so I’ll just isoolate mmyself

if it was about accusing him for the bruises on you, then-

…..I really don’t mind.
I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I honestly do hate him for making you feel terrible.

And I am jealous of him for making you love him more than me.

So fine, go be with him instead, or go drown while craving him.

I don’t even know what you two do but he seems like an abusive meanie and you’re just letting him and wishing he did more to you and while I would do the same if I were in your place because I’m just craving pain to feel less guilty about my existence

as a friend I REALLY DON’T THINK THAT’S HEALTHY FOR YOU even though you’re substituting pain for pain and boredom

yeah you probably think “oh you don’t know how I feel because you’re so happy while my life stinks and I work hard but barely get anything and its unfair so might as well have some fun why won’t you understand you idiot”

I do understand.

Your views are valid.

But as someone who loves you but is bitter by how you don’t love me, I can’t come to the same agreement with you.

Nevermind, time for physics for real.

guess I still do hold on to grudges and how you’ve hurt me and still have yet to acknowledge all that but uh

I feel like you’re a sad lil bunny so I don’t want to leave you alone and stuff so

sigh I’m a sad pig myself but I’ll be okay on my own

I guess

yup

no no don’t mind I’ll still mail you just that

….I feel dettached from everything and nothing really helps, but I’ve got nico and games and undertale and stuff so I’ll manage

or die trying to

either way, my own issues

but ah, it’s really depressing to try connecting to people but fail, so why bother

😦 tomorrow’s physics paper, all my friends I actually talk to take bio so its sad I wont see anyone I can talk to tomorrow

ah well

bleh, what, you think papyrus is an insult to bishies and that toby fox the guy who wrote the game and the script hates your bishies?

or do you think that its wrong to say that you’re always in a daze just because you always bump into walls??

?? if it’s the first one then you’ve definitely got to grow up lmao its a game and if you don’t like the game fine be that way

if its the second then uh that’s really weird how do you even get mad at that

meh back to physics

so much for thinking we’d ever be on the same wavelength

talking to you doesn’t make me feel any closer anymore, not for now at least

???? I did something wrong ????

ugh ended up having dinner after all

dad’s home so can’t throw it up

dinner was around 700-1000 calories

rice, curry, naan, overly excessively sweet juice which I diluted

ugh

I think I’m starving and I feel really sick like d-ing but I can’t

I feel sad

I’ll just skip dinner

I’m a worthless fatass after all

Things are not always going to go my way so I have to let things go and give in every now and then.

I must.

Cried four times today, fought with mum twice.

I’m a monster, but I talked to her.

Guhhh well here’s to giving in more.

pathetic nowadays

30 55 35 60

shit my thoughts led me astray

feel like dying shit