Was supposed to run yesterday but I ended up sleeping for 11.5 hours longer than I intended to.

Laxes haven’t kicked in yet, darn.

Oh fuck, in my dream we both made up and I was happy.

Fuck.

a part of me wants to fast
another wants to exercise till I pass out
and well, I just want to eat two kiwis for breakfast but something’s telling me I shouldn’t

if I burn 100 cal in 12 minutes on the treadmill, I could burn 500 in an hour

“what’s better than burning calories? burning the calories you never ate!”

fuck I don’t want to become skinny or skeletal and weak I just don’t want to be fat why am I so unsatisfied with my body but wait my BMI is still terrible so I shouldn’t be satisfied

wtf

when you’re lying in bed pinching your fats for an hour

my mental health is only getting worse, all I can do is weakly laugh about it

*gets triggered by own bodycheck I posted a while ago*

fml

I NEED TO FAST

BUT I NEED TO STUDY

FUCK

I WASNT SKINNY THEN BUT NOW I CAN BARELY SEE MY BONES WTF

FUCK FUCK FUVK

feel so fat
but need to study
so need coffee
but coffee has calories
and coffee can’t be drunk alone
I feel hopeless about myself
I feel like a failure
I feel like I can’t achieve anything
I don’t know how to feel better about myself
I feel like such a fatass
I am a fatass

I am so doomed

and hopeless

comfort is nowhere to be found

so I bruise my knuckles

https://instagram.com/p/5qpID9SgQSjvhjtENUkd6zm-qaqwCCRhZO7is0/

Last night was awful

https://instagram.com/p/5o3beLygf-/